Muse Working On A Soppy Soft Rock Album

Everyone deserves an equal opportunity and these days we all can! Not just on a pay scale or employment wise, but for almost everything. Gone are the days when hecklerspray writer Kris Silver got funny looks for wearing ladies clothing in public. Now he is welcomed by society and not cast aside like an unwanted puppy at Christmas.

However, with bands such as Coldplay and U2, you rarely hear from anyone else who isn’t the lead singer. Chris Martin and Bono use their elevated platform to harp on about free trade and saving the world the poverty, all whilst being tax exiles.

Third rate indie rockers Muse suffer from the same syndrome and have to deal with Matt Bellamy taking all the glory. Sadly, he’s all loved up with Kate Hudson, so in a rare opportunity to speak out, members Dominic Howard and Chris Wolstenhome have spoken of their desire to move the band into a soft rock direction. Rock and roll mightn’t be the word.


Soft rock usually gives off all sorts of disgusting sounds; imagine the audio of two girls one cup but taken to the next level. People like Snow Patrol, Van Morrison and The Eagles come to mind when we think of soft rock. Basically, it’s music for your dad who still wants to remain cool and thinks that the music of his youth is still popular. He’ll read the copy of Vice magazine that’s been left around by their plebbish offspring and then make awkward conversation at the dinner table about a German leather enthusiast who makes his own bondage equipment. All whilst wearing purple skinny jeans.

Muse have always been one of those bands that we don’t really understand. Some of their songs such Glade Plug-In Baby and Super Big Massive Brown Hole weren’t that bad, though we prefer to watch them muted and watch the videos which are better than generic promos of standing against a supermarket wall looking moody. This model has strangely worked and the band have amassed a huge following of fans and have even bagged the headline slot of hipster festival Reading and Leeds. Let out of their Muse shackles, the other band members who we’ve forgotten about already said:

“Fans might want to prepare for a big shift in the band’s sound on their next album. The drummer and bassist said that Muse’s next full-length release will likely come out in 2012. It might be softer rock, but then it’s up to me and Chris to make it heavy again. A heavy rock lullaby! But I’m sure it will move forward in some way.”

A rock lullaby? That’s the sort of novelty that appears in Britain’s Got Talent, a show where people stick two opposing ideas together and combine them to form something that’s more annoying than original. Cats on trampolines are just one of the wacky acts featured by the population who get excited when they hear the chimes of an ice-cream truck. But with the impending birth of Matt Bellamy’s child, fans of Muse should prepare themselves for weird versions of three blind mice and a lyrical version of Jack and the beanstalk when a new album is released.

If fans of Muse aren’t happy of this potential change of direction, they could always go and listen to Radiohead. The band Muse badly fail at emulating.